Dear Friends and Readers,
As much as I love Autumn, I can’t help feeling sad at the fact that fall is all about endings. I sit at my computer and watch the beautiful leaves fall from the tallow tree that Eugene Walter gave me. Yellow butterflies dance among the flowers that will soon be gone. The light now is beautiful, but also sad to me.
I lost a very good friend this month. Jan Zimlich, a fine writer and good friend, died unexpectedly. Jan and I were close for many years. We shared a lot. And we had a lot of fun. She tolerated my teasing with such grace—and occasionally zinged me back. Jan was a contrast in many ways. So refined and yet so smart. Eugene Walter, who nicknamed only his favorite people, called her Miss Spanish Moss. Jan was Southern, well-brought up, and a writer of paranormal romance. She published four books: The Shadow Prince, The Black Rose, Heart’s Prey, and Not Quite Paradise. She loved the paranormal and her friends and family with her whole heart.
Jan loved dogs. She was allergic to cats, but she was dedicated to dogs. Even when they ate her furniture and jumped on top of her car. Her last dog was named Ursala, but Jan also called her Lucifer, which was appropriate for a terrier terrorist.
Jan was part of a writing critique group, the Deep South Writers Salon. We met bi-weekly for years. I can’t remember how many years but over 20. We ate, drank wine, critiqued our writing, and plotted evil pranks. How I miss those days. We were all so full of dreams and stories to tell. This group of writers was a huge part of my life. The friendships I made there will last forever.
And so today, as I sit watching Eugene’s tallow tree shed its leaves, I think of Jan and know that the pain I feel is my heart breaking once again at the loss of someone I love.
Here’s a photo of Jan at Eugene’s grave. Per Eugene’s wishes, we had a party when he was interred in the Church Street Cemetery beside Joe Cain.
It’s hard to focus on anything else right now, but as Eugene would say, “Life intervenes.” And boy, does it. I finished edits on ODE TO THE BONES. Now I’m back at work on the next book in the series. A writer writes. That is my life, and no way can I avoid it.
I didn’t make it to Bouchercon, one of the mystery genres big conferences which was in New Orleans this year. I was disappointed not to go, but I ended up with edits on a deadline and my little Pearl, my sister’s dog that I inherited, is not doing the best. Her kidneys are slowly shutting down. We are doing IV fluids when necessary and sub-Q fluids on a regular basis. But Pearl is old. Organs wear out. And little Izzy, Cissy Hartley’s dog that I inherited, has gone blind. She manages okay, but I am her security. She wants to be right beside me. Izzy is diabetic and has Cushing’s Disease (which one of my horses now has too). So it was just best to stay here and take care of them. I am becoming more and more reclusive. I think this is just a part of this time of life. I’m content to be here, with my animals.
Now, I’m off to do farm chores and write—but here’s a song for Jan. She always had a bit of Marilyn Monroe in her. Candle in the Wind
I hope Priya’s story this month is more upbeat! But I give y’all a slice of life and my feelings as they are happening. Unedited.
Later—Carolyn and the critters!
P.S. A reader texted me what they borrowed at the library! You, too, can ask your local public library to bring in my Pluto’s Snitch mystery series for you to read. E-mail my assistant for help on how you can do this too: priya@carolynhaines.com
P.P.S. I’ll be the featured author for the October Bring Your Own Books Social Hour, a friendly, laid back get-together for readers. There’s a reader get-together every Wednesday in Bookspace (Readerspace),and every 3rd Wednesday there’s a featured author. I’ll be there October 15 to celebrate the spooky season!
Dear Readers,
I am not afraid to dine out alone.
When I tell people this, panic sets in. Horrified they are, immediately telling me they could not bear to eat in a restaurant by themselves. But I mean, don’t we all do this exact thing at home so often? Feeling judged by strangers can be a deterrent, but that’s a terrible reason to deprive yourself of a delicious meal somewhere that’s not home. Who cares if a Joe Schmoe thinks you have no friends or family? I don’t. It’s not our business to fret over the presumptions of a rando.
 I discovered a teensy tiny carrot in my bundle from the farmer’s market. It’s the simple joys that I crave the most. |
 My mom dreams of sourdough bread from Fisherman’s Wharf. But she settled for a suitcase of sourdough from Trader Joe’s instead. |
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Years ago, I planned a solo adventure to Los Angeles. I was curious about this town and I wanted to see it again, as an adult. I booked a lovely cottage in Hollywood and headed west. It was the best time ever. Everyone should have the experience of living downtown somewhere at least once in their lives, for the sheer thrill of walkability to wherever you need to go. I strolled to farmers markets, a slew of boutiques, the theater, juice shops and coffee bars, and vegan restaurants. I was really excited for the last one because plant-based eating is more prevalent there than it is here.
Every morning the California sunshine streamed into my bedroom and I did yoga at the park and I took long baths at home. When I read my books, petals from the canopy of bougainvillea floated down to my table in the patio. I explored the town on foot, all by myself, and it was thrilling. It felt rebellious to dare to travel alone but I gently settled into a routine. It was also nice to lean into spontaneous adventures without having to clear it with anybody else first.
 I took a snapshot of a floating bougainvillea petal and added it to my collection. So pretty. |
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At one café, I observed a young man eavesdropping on an interesting conversation and he later told me it inspired a scene for his screenplay. I laughed. The strangers there were kind to me, and I don’t know if it was because I was alone or wandered around like a tourist or perhaps I was just lucky to have encountered a friendly niche of folks.
And Praise the Lord, not one stranger started off a conversation with the immediate (and tedious) question of “What are you?” or the question of where I am “really” from, which I often get because of my skin color, despite my flawless American accent. (The only time I wouldn’t secretly roll my eyes is if a Native American asked me that question, but I digress). Confession: Sometimes I feel like a zoo animal. I generally don’t mind discussing my heritage, but I do wish people would get to know someone’s heart BEFORE they launch into an ethnicity or citizenship probe.
So yes, to be readily accepted is a gift that I can never take for granted. I love being a part of the people! And as odd as it sounds, I enjoy blending in like furniture.
But back to my point. It is a blessing to delight in your own company. Being on the introverted side helps me in that department. A waitress at lunch one day told me she too was an introvert, and that she wakes up with a full social battery which slowly gets drained by each social interaction– while her brother wakes up with an empty social battery that he gets to recharge through each social interaction he has. I loved that explanation of how different we all are. I am often misunderstood by others who think I am snooty or pathetic. But I am just a regular ol’ cornball who happens to have a reclusive nature. I swear I’m nice! Besides, I am a grown woman. I can (and ought to) curate my life however I see fit. As we all should.
And isn’t the world better off to have a mix of reflectively quiet souls and vivaciously lively chatterboxes?
So if you find yourself alone one day because everyone is busy… but you want to dine out, I encourage you to be bold and get out of Dodge. You got this. Anyone who looks down upon you isn’t worth giving up agency for, right? Oh you’re saying you are nervous and feeling insecure? You just remember one thing honey– that you ain’t gotta wash no dishes. Heck, you can even bring your Kindle to read on while you feast on a meal that you don’t want to make at home. If you do this, or have done this, I stand four-square with you. It’s empowering.
All of this talk makes me want to recommend a movie to you. Please, will you watch “Last Holiday” featuring Queen Latifah? It will tie my message beautifully. And bonus, you will adore this heartwarming film, I promise you.
Quietly yours,
Priya
On my way back to get groceries, I somewhat participated in a surprise marathon!