Naughty Songs My Mother Taught Me

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Dear Reader,

I grew up with my grandmother singing Irish ballads to me. “Danny Boy” was one of her favorites and can still make me cry. “I’ll Take You Home Again, Kathleen” was another of her favorites. My grandmother was Finnish/Swedish, but her husband was a brawny Scot/Irish man. My mother, on the other hand, taught me a couple of Irish ditties and then sent me to the grammar school talent show to sing them. “The Night That Paddy Murphy Died” got me jettisoned from the talent show. Because everyone knew my mother, they gave me another chance, but the sad fact is that I truly can’t sing. Anything. But the problem with the song went a lot deeper than a lack of talent on my part. I grew up in a dry county—Paddy Murphy shocked the sensibilities of the school. Ha ha ha. My mother loved it. She had a wicked sense of humor and it’s one reason I’m such a devil prankster now. Check the tune near the bottom of the newsletter.

This month I was inducted into the Alabama Writers Hall of Fame, along with six other people. Two of the honorees, Ralph Ellison and Zelda Fitzgerald, were inducted posthumously. It was a very big honor and despite COVD-19 trying to impose on my weekend, things went off exceptionally well.

This year has been very wet and drippy, but despite the lack of sunshine, my world is turning green. When the oak and other hardwood trees first bud out with leaves, the shades of green are so rich. It’s a gentle landscape, with no indication of the brutal summer on the way. Still, the Spring sun makes everything better, doesn’t it?

My brother and I managed to get his new stray cat, Tripper, neutered. One step to the good. Better for the cat, better for my brother, and definitely better for me! So many cats are harmed and abused because no one wants to care for them. One unneutered cat can produce a LOT of unwanted kittens. Here are the statistics from PETA for an unaltered female dog and cat: Spaying and neutering makes a big difference: Just one unaltered female dog and her offspring can produce 67,000 puppies in only six years. In seven years, one female cat and her offspring can produce an incredible 370,000 kittens!

Pistol Pete

Please do your part and have your pets—or even those who merely visit your yard if it’s a stray cat or dog—neutered. There are clinics in most of the states that offer discounts for feral cats and dogs. I know how expensive it is to claim a pet and then really care for it, but if you can even just neuter them, you are stopping a vicious cycle of suffering. TNR (trap, neuter, release) really does work and it is the only humane solution to a problem caused by irresponsible humans. The cats are not at fault.

On the book front, the publication of THE DEVIL’S BONES has been delayed until July 21. When I was giving away 6 advance review copies (ARCs) we had over 1000 entries. It was insane! I was so pumped by the interest in the book. Thanks to all who entered. And those winners are: Brenda Merritt, Akasha Heart, Julie Meyers, Cheryl Mansfield, Jacquie Harrison, and Connie Denise.

This month St. Martin’s has generously put BOOTY BONES on sale for $2.99. (This sale expires today, March 31!) If you’ve read it, what about a gift for a reader you know?

And don’t forget our “Trouble around the calendar” short story collection, YEAR-ROUND TROUBLE.

April Fool’s Day belongs to Ritter Ames and her fabulous story, “All Aboard for April Fool’s Trouble” is a terrific train mystery. And following that will be “Eggspectation of Trouble” by Susan Boles. These are two of my favorite holidays—and two of my favorite short stories. I’ve had to tone down my pranks on April Fool’s Day because I can’t run as fast as I used to. Pranking is fun—getting caught is NOT! After our parents died, I used to make my little brother an Easter Basket, but I was a mean sister. I would snatch his chocolate bunny and bite the head off. Sadly, we were in our 30s while this was going on. And yes, it was funny.

St. Paddy’s Day has come and gone, but don’t let that stop you from reading Claire Matturro’s fun story celebrating the Irish. Check out “Trouble in the Treehouse.” St. Patrick’s Day has always been a favorite holiday to me.

That’s all the news that’s fit to print from Casa Carolyn. Y’all stay safe from any viruses and you can wash your hands while you sing this song. Remember soap and water (for your hands) and a bit of Jameson (for your gullet) will go a long way to feeling better! Listen to the Great Big Sea and lift a glass to Paddy Murphy!

Carolyn Haines

P.S. March 31 is the last day to enter my Monthly Giveaway! I’m giving away a signed hardcover of ROCK-A-BYE BONES.

 

Spring at my house

 

Dear Jitty, My husband and I have sold our home and we are moving to a retirement community where we don’t know a single soul. I’m upset that we’re leaving our family and friends. I’m also scared of having to fit in, in a new place, as I’ve never been particularly outgoing or well versed in small talk. Do you have any advice for me as I embark on this new change? Sincerely, Socially Insecure   Dear SI, How lucky are you! Back in Jitty’s day the only retirement community was better known as a cemetery. You’re gonna have a chance to be the new kid on the block one more time. While this is really scary, it is also exciting and the beginning of a new adventure. Sarah Booth’s Aunt Loulane used to have a sayin’ for every occasion, and this is what she’d tell you if she were alive. “To have a friend you have to be a friend.” That’s good advice. If there are structured activities like bridge games, birdwatching, walks, water aerobics, or croquet—and you really enjoy those activities—join up. Ask questions. Be interested in the new people you meet and I guarantee they’ll be interested in you. It’s tough to be outgoing if you’re shy, but prepare a list of questions ahead of time. Ask about movies, books, local attractions, good restaurants, TV shows—things that are not controversial. Save the religious and political questions until you’re on the firm ground of friendship. Remember, this is a chance to highlight the things about yourself that you love the most. Are you a baker? Meet the neighbors with a pie or cookies. Keep an eye out for someone with a green thumb and ask what plants grow well in that climate—even if it is indoors. Give someone a chance to shine with their expertise. And don’t forget to include your man in the meet-and-greets. His interests and hobbies will also open doors to new friendships. Hopefully you’re both in good health and now is the time to grab the freedom of no home maintenance and go full-tilt boogey into enjoying life. Find a blues club and dance to some good belly-rubbin’ music. And tell all your new friends about Sarah Booth and her guardian haint—me. Signed, Jitty P.S. For everyone reading this, let me guide you honey chile. Get some advice by writing me at DearJitty@yahoo.com