April Showers = Cranky Carolyn

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Dear Friends,

Lower Alabama is wet! We’ve had rain and storms and more rain and storms. Luckily, the Southern part of the state has had no tornadoes, but a hail storm the first of April hit Orange Beach and destroyed roofs and car windshields. What a mess for the Spring Breakers who were there and didn’t have a garage or place to park their vehicles under something. The hail was huge.

This is the hail I experienced. Can you imagine?

In Semmes, we got only rain and wind. I always worry about the horses. They can go in the barn any time they want—hay in the stalls, dry. But they don’t always do the sensible thing. What I dread is the fast approach of hurricane season. Last year was terrible. Really terrible. And Louisiana got it so much worse than we did. Keep those folks in your thoughts, please.

I’m making good progress taming Apollo and Alfie. The other two are still pretty wild. It’s just going to take a lot of time and effort, but I really need to get them in a carrier and to the vet. So much to do, so little time.

I’m excited—only 21 more days until INDEPENDENT BONES goes on sale. This has been a l-o-n-g year, waiting. And then I think that 2021 will be almost half over when the book comes out. That’s hard to grasp. In my previous note to you, I hosted a 5-book giveaway (early advance reader copies). The winners are: Christine Becken, Theresa Hanrahan, Mary Goodwill, Melissa Braun, and Marsha Eason. Ladies, I hope you’ve been enjoying the book!

Kiddos, there’s a new cat on the block. Pamela Sue DuMond, one of the authors of YEAR-ROUND TROUBLE, has a secret agent cat book—GOLDMITTENS, the first of the Von Pumpernickle cat cozies.

THEODORE VON PUMPERNICKLE – He’s fluffy. He’s fat. He’s a secret agent cat…
Theodore’s the hospitality cat at the Cheesehead Lodge in Sister Bay, Wisconsin. He’s also the Pet Intelligence Agency’s cutest, grumpy-faced, feline spy.

Theodore’s diligent detective work put criminal mastermind Dietrich Goldmitten behind bars. But now Goldmitten’s broken out of prison and headed to Sister Bay, revenge on his brain. But he’s not the only bad guy in town…

Bertie — PIA’s Sister Bay Head of Special Gadgets — is found dead on his kitchen floor — poisoned. Now it’s up to Theodore and his band of human, furry, and feathered spy friends to figure out who killed Bertie, and stop Goldmitten before he wreaks chaos at Sister Bay’s Homeland in the Heartland festival. Can Theodore save the day?

On sale now for only $3.99. And here’s where you can purchase the book and get to know Theodore—00CAT! Amazon, Apple Books, B&N, Kobo

I hope all of you have had a chance to get your COVID vaccinations. I’m done! While the variants are getting stronger and more wicked, right now I’m feeling pretty good about seeing my friends. I’ll continue to practice all the safety precautions, but I am so hoping we can beat this virus back and folks can gather with friends and family again.

Expect a new Trouble book later in the summer. TROUBLE RESTORED. I wrote this one, and we’re expecting one from Rebecca Barrett and Susan Tanner also this year. I still haven’t had a chance to write my Raissa and Reginald book about the possessed doll. I am so eager to start writing, but I’ve had a lot going on in my life that demands my time and attention. This story nags at me, but the good news is that next January, the train to New Orleans will be running from Mobile (I hope). Research must be done! Lots of research. And I hope to be in New Orleans in August for Bouchercon. It seems like a hundred years since I’ve had a chance to meet my author friends who live far away.

It has taken me 3 days and 2 pairs of clippers but Tundra is now shaved. What clippers do you guys recommend?

My life right now is busy with details of things I don’t like to do. I think that’s called life by most people. I am happiest when I am in Zinnia with Sarah Booth and the gang—or when I’m taking care of this madhouse of cats, dogs, and horses. Some are getting so old, and that always keeps me on edge. I am not good with change, and especially not the permanent kind. But the old quote comes to mind—you can live in the past but you’ll lose the present. I try to honor that. So until next month, remember GAME OF BONES is on sale for $2.99 for the rest of this month. And then INDEPENDENT BONES will arrive!

In honor of my brother, David, and his wife, Gail, here’s a little Gary Puckett and the Union Gap for you. David and Gail were NEVER politically correct, and with the world today, neither is this song. We went to hear Puckett at one of the casinos in Biloxi several years back. Gail had a wicked sense of humor. She went back stage to buy a CD and get it signed and when she stood in front of Puckett, she said, “You, sir, are single-handedly responsible for the loss of my virginity.” It tore the place up! Everyone was laughing and she was just being her shocking self. Those were good days. Click on this for the song: “Young Girl.”

Carolyn and the Critters

I personally mailed out these advance review copies. If the contest winners are reading this letter, I hope you ladies are enjoying the book!

Dear All-Wise Jitty,

I have a perfect marriage, most would say, but my husband has one habit that drives me insane. He has big, strong, powerful hands, but he is incapable of wringing out a dishcloth to wipe down a counter or table. He slops a wet dishcloth onto the counter and swipes it around, leaving puddles of water everywhere. This is getting to be a point of serious contention between us. He says I’m being ‘anal,’ which is not a nice thing to say even if it were true, which it isn’t. If I’m not paying attention, I put the mail or a grocery list or important papers on the counter while I pour a cup of coffee. Guess what? They get ruined. It’s happened more than once. ‘Mark’ has agreed to abide by your answer. If you say he should wring harder, he’s promised to try. If you say I’m just being a ‘B’, I’ll shut up. What say you, old wise one?

Signed,
Mad as a Wet Hen

Dear Justifiably Mad Hen,

I’ve heard this complaint before. What a shame when a partner or spouse can’t do a simple thing to please the other one. That said, I’m tellin’ you to shut your pie-hole on this one. It ain’t gonna change because you nag him. My suggestion is that you hire a maid to take care of those chores. If the counter needs wiping down, let the maid do it. After a few weeks of that, maybe he’ll consider making a little extra effort to be helpful if he’s having to pay someone else to do the things he expects you to do. When you can’t reach a fool with logic, reach into his pocket. That will always get his attention.

Signed,
Jitty, the wise

P.S. For everyone reading this, let me guide you honey chile. Get some advice by writing me at Jitty@carolynhaines.com